In “Let Me Down Easy,” Anna Deavere Smith quotes a palliative care specialist who says, we die the same way we live. People who are fearful in their lives fear death when they learn it is coming. People who hold anger grow angry when they learn they will die.
The way we do one thing often represents the way we do everything.
At the end of the death of 2015, AND the end of my 34th year of life…..here are 4 reflections for my year, and 3 ways I’d like to direct myself so I can end my life the person I want to be.
TODAY is my birthday!
Four learnings for 2015 and being 34 years old:
- When I was 34 years old, I worked to use my words to influence behaviors I saw as problems (for myself, or on behalf of others).
- My intense curiosity led me into situations I would have otherwise avoided, because “I wanted to know what would happen.”
- I give time, emotion, and attention to people sometimes because it feeds my ego, not because I have a genuine attachment to them.
- It is possible for two people to face conflict together and still act maturely.
Three ways I’d like to direct myself:
- Instead of diving headfirst into new opportunities, I’d like to consider “opportunity cost.” For example, if I passively go along to a party, I am not actively making the decision to spend time writing my novel.
- I’d like to better listen to the voice in my gut that says, “This is a bad idea” — and let go of my ego in order to do it!
- I want to give time, emotion, and attention to people because I have a genuine attachment and affinity for them. All while remembering that it’s okay to be vulnerable.