AKA: A short list written by a Bay Area native/snob
Since I am not tech-savvy, I am going to describe in words what I would have in animated gifs if I were to do this a la Buzzfeed listicle.
1. It’s It ice cream.
How do you go wrong with two cookies and ice cream dipped in chocolate?
Also, how was that previous question even a real question? (It wasn’t.)
Animated gif: Me, twirling in a dress of It’s Its while simultaneously eating one It’s It of each flavor (that’s 5 total, including the elusive strawberry and pumpkin).
2. How to properly recycle in a freaking recycling bin. Yes, we have to e-waste some stuff. But MOST of our waste can go into 2 of the Holy Trinity: Compost and Recycling.
*Tip: Styrofoam or plastic film like bags or sandwich wrap go in the trash.
Animated gif: My New York transplant, next-door neighbor throwing a half-eaten bag of Doritos into the compost. Me, pulling the bag out, dumping the Doritos (chips) into the compost and then making him wear the Doritos (bag) as a dunce hat.
3. Gender neutral pronouns.
Animated gif #1: My sophomore English teacher lecturing the class on grammar, telling us that it was “grammatically incorrect” to use anything but “he” when we didn’t know the gender. Caption: “Stuck in the 1950’s.”
Animated gif #2: The person loudly asking “What are they? A guy or a girl?” when seeing an androgynous person in the Castro. Caption: “Stuck in the 1990’s.”
** Okay, okay….. gender-neutral pronouns are useful anywhere you go. I know it takes time to get used to, but at the least — let’s gain an acceptance of these pronouns even if there’s some fumbling around with their usage at first.
4. Contrary to what the goofy statue on Highway 280 may lead you to believe, Father Junipero Serra was a kind of an a-hole.
See that statue on Highway 280? That’s Father Junipero Serra.
Wonder what he is pointing at? He is pointing at a lot of Native American land and ordering the enslavement of the Native Americans so that they can build a lot of adobe missions for him as he takes over their land and resources. In these missions, the Native Americans will then be forced to cut their hair, be “educated,” stop speaking their native languages, till the fields, and otherwise do all the grunt work for the Spanish missionaries, all in the name of “salvation.”
(NON) Animated gif: Add the Native American dead bodies statues below the Junipero Serra statue.
* Fun California-Only Fact: All of us had to build miniature missions in the 4th grade in honor of Father Junipero Serra and all of his great deeds. Kind of like this one.
YES. ALL OF US.
5. Speaking of Highway 280….. 280 > 101.
You are stuck in Bay Area rush hour traffic. Which view would you prefer? View A or B?
Only a crazy person would choose View B, aka – Highway 101.
As a semi-crazy person, I drive 101 often, because it’s the straightest shot down to where I usually go. However, when given the choice of two equidistant drives, I would far prefer View A – aka – Highway 280.
Animated gif: A close-up of an angry techie shaking their fists on Highway 101 as they travel 2 miles per hour down to their job at Apple/Adobe/Facebook.
Caption: “I shouldn’t have listened to Father Junipero Serra.”
Anything else to add to this list? *Smile*
PS: Photo credits from all over. I totally stole these off random sites. One was from Yosemite Family blog. I am sorry because I really forgot to pay attention to photo credits. If you took one, tell me so I can credit you, and please don’t sue me.
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