This picture is seriously me every single time I end up on a date. A few years ago, in all of my long-term-relationship-glory, I sat in on a conversation with a bunch of long-term-single-ladies. They were talking about dating. “You know what I heard?” I asked them, eager to add to the conversation, despite the fact…Details
Let’s get personal for a moment. There’s a scene from Back to the Future in which Marty emerges from his time-traveling car 40 years into the future, and is blown away. If you haven’t seen the movie, imagine what your expression would be when seeing a flying car for the first time. That’s me. Trying to…Details
Yes, the world would generally be a better place if people did not ghost. However, if this happened to you, here is a handy flowchart you can use to make sense of your experience! And remember, y’all. The keywords are: Dignity and Grace. Every missed opportunity is a chance to learn! Take care…Details
TOTALLY scientific. Here’s to all of the BFF’s out there!
This is a long story that starts with a friend’s Facebook post. In the middle is a horrible mini-lesson of “how NOT to break up with someone.” There are multiple endings. Pass it up if you don’t like relationship stories. Read if you do, friends. * I’ll start with the first ending of our relationship.…Details
The first time I ever dated someone and discovered he had a girlfriend, I was 20 years old. I remember feeling hurt and betrayed. I remember thinking, “WHYYYYY didn’t he just tell me? If he’d just told me first, I could have made a consensual, intelligent decision.” I was jealous. Angry. Upset. I told him…Details
My last conversation with the Universe went something like this……. Thanks, Universe / God / Creator-entity. I go back and forth sometimes, between “I can do it all!” and “It’s not my fault.” This week, I’ve been in a “it’s not my fault” kind of funk. And there are things that are not my…Details
Ed Note: This comes on the heels of Lemonade, which blew me out of the water. Beyonce takes Jay-Z to task for cheating on her with every song, hardly even talking about or caring about the “other woman.” [Feminism 101: Take him to task when he messes up. Screw female competition. It’s not about you comparing…Details
In the midst of chaos, I did this. This official letter came TODAY. I’ve been vaguely referring to “major life decisions” these past few months. Here it is, y’all. My friend asked me about my excitement today: Wait, aren’t you a mostly-self-employed contractor, Elisa? Yes. Yes, I am. So this letter is just the first…Details
There were at least sixteen years of my life where my automatic answer to the question, “How are you doing?” was (either) “fine” or “good.”
Lately, I’ve veered into the more grammatically-correct, “Well. I’m doing well.”
Usually, it’s all a lie, though. Some of us, on particularly horrible days, will answer with a, “OK,” or, “It’s going.” And that’s as deep as it gets.
Once, when I waitressed at Red Lobster as a teenager, I asked a customer how he was doing. He sincerely answered my question, detailing the events of his debt, his sense of aging, his last birthday. The level of confusion I felt as he prolonged the required, 1-sentence answer? Unparalleled.
But I think about that still. What if we really wanted to know the answer to the question, “How are you doing?” What could we say? It’s such a broad, general question. Maybe part of it is, also, just asking a better question.
Here are 10 questions I often use with some of the toughest-to-crack people I know: teenagers. These are questions I also ask of adults. They throw people off their game a little. They evoke a laugh, a double-take. They often spark sincerity.Details